Let's face it, online dating is the way of the future, even if the thought of it makes your stomach turn and your eyes roll back in your head.
Following a divorce, navigating the dating scene can feel daunting and effortful, especially when we are weighed down by the baggage from past long-term relationships.
We ultimately want someone to swoop in and sweep us off our deserving, dainty feet, right?
Not so much.
We do however, want to meet others who have the same interests, same morals and beliefs and we don't want to have to go to bars to do it. We're older now and it's not really our scene.
So, options are....online dating, or meeting someone at the grocery store.
Don't fret, my friend. I have what you need to create the easiest and most straight forward online dating profile. No stress, just relax and enjoy the ride.
The biggest challenge, I found, when getting back on the horse and looking for that special someone was the choices. There are a lot of dating apps out there now, which all come with a price tag if you want to actually talk to these people.
The dating pool in my town is very small and there weren't many men from my immediate area online, so did I really want to invest in something that wasn't guaranteed? Not really.
However, most are free to begin with. You can make a profile and browse some singles. This is where I began.
I created a free membership to at least four sites (post to come at a later date about these said sites), and got to work on my profile.
There at least six rules I followed when creating an online profile.
PHOTOS
When it comes to the photos you use, I would choose photos that were telling of my lifestyle. I never used strictly selfies. This can be indicative of your lifestyle as well.
I went with candid shots of myself doing the things that I loved to do, such as, hiking, at the beach, with friends, etc. A person's photos can tell you a lot about their lives and their hobbies.
DESCRIPTION
Keep your description of yourself short and sweet. We know that we swipe right on a person because of their photos. It's just the way it is. If there is an initial attraction, it's not to the profile. They don't need to know who your cousin twice removed is, or that you have a undiagnosed medical condition you've been suffering from. Just give the basics....like; “I'm a single mom, I love to dance and bake cookies. I've been skydiving and run my own firm.” Give a snap shot of your life and the interesting things about yourself.
REQUIREMENTS
A general rule about the description portion I followed was, a couple of short paragraphs about myself and a short paragraph about what I was looking for on the app. It would include that I was looking for someone to spend time with and get to know. This was to indicate that I was in fact, NOT looking for any hookups or someone who was just looking to waste my time. No judgement if you are, but you should always state gently what it is you are expecting from the dating app experience.
GET SWIPING
Next step is to go live and swipe away. Let the algorithm work for you.
However, when I first started the process I became a little obsessed with the apps. It's easy to get carried away with swiping and chatting and waiting for the little notifications saying that you have matched with someone. I recommend that you only turn notifications on when you have created a dedicated time to spend looking at it. It can become a time consumer and you are way to fabulous to be sitting on top of your phone, waiting for someone to like you, right?
WHEN YOU GET GHOSTED
There are many times when you will find someone who is nice, funny, and seems like they have their shit together, and you will have put time and effort into talking and chatting for a bit, and they will disappear. Let them. This usually means they have found someone else to talk to and that's ok. It's all a part of the dating app game. Now, if you begin dating for a couple of weeks in person and then, they disappear....still, let them. These people are telling you who they are, and who they are is obviously someone who is not reliable or courageous enough to tell you to your face that they are not interested, so let them go. It's disappointing but has nothing to do with you, it's all them.
DON'T GIVE UP
If you really want to find someone you love and someone you can be with long term, keep going. Don't give up. I asked myself so many times why I bothered. I met a lot of people online and went on many dates. Some turned into relationships and some were just one date. Some turned into friendships that are still a part of my life today.
So, the truth is that my current relationship was not someone I found online. I
t was actually a friend of a friend. He did message me through social media though.
So many people have found their 'one' online. It's a technological world and it's ok to try your toe in the water or jump right into the deep end. My advice is to do it the way that feels the best and most honest to you. I can give you the guidelines I used because I can say I had a successful experience with online dating. The people I met and dated have helped bring me to the point I am today.
I hope the same for you too!
If you would like some one on one help with finding your true love and the life you have always wanted, sign up for my free half hour consultation.
XOXO Jenn
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