Dealing with Dating Anxiety and Rejection

The fear and anxiety of being rejected by a potential new partner or a first date can be overwhelming.

After being in a relationship for years and having that fail can be a blow to a person's confidence. Jumping back into the dating pool only to have multiple failures can cause a person to want to give up completely.

The Human Need for Connection

I will never say that everyone needs to be with another, but most people want companionship, friendship, and love. Every human being is built for connection, and while we are capable of being independent (yes, girl!) and taking care of ourselves, we crave intimacy and togetherness.

Understanding Rejection

Rejection is never fun. It can be a blow to self-esteem and confidence, but we know it's not the end of the world. Rejection is protection, as many would say. If it's not meant to be, let it go.

However, we can reach the point where rejection becomes a regular part of our dating life, and we'll ask ourselves: Is it worth it? How long do I have to endure this?

The Secret to Getting Through

We may have to go on a lot of dates to meet our person. We may have to endure many terrible times to find someone who will give us a lifetime of good times. I've had many women ask what the secret is to getting through the bad to get to the good — and what if they don't want to do it anymore?

I tell them... don't do it. Dating should not be stressful. The problem with all this anxiety and stress of dating and rejection is that we are taking it too seriously.

Dating Should Be FUN!

Do you think the men who are online and out in the world looking for someone are thinking that the woman they're taking out tonight is "the one"? No way! They are out to have a good time — and so should you!

Dating is meant to be fun, light, and carefree. It's about chemistry on the first few dates. It's not about how many kids they want, if they want to get married, or if they're close to their family.

Eventually, it will be about these things — in time. When you go into a date thinking that you need to find out as quickly as possible if this person is "the forever one," you are taking the fun out of it and potentially sabotaging the date.

Avoiding Red Flags for the Wrong Reasons

Also, I have found that women tend to ignore major red flags in order to secure a next date, a boyfriend, or a husband. They feel rejected and sense that something isn't right, but they ignore many signs in order to have someone. Eventually, these relationships fall apart — even if it's after marriage and kids.

How to Combat Dating Anxiety

In order to combat the feelings of anxiety and fear of rejection, we need to stop taking ourselves so seriously. HAVE FUN! Let him woo you. Enjoy the process, and if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, try again.

You don't have to go looking if you don't want to. The trick is to make connections. Practice making any connections! You never know where it will lead.

• Talk to people while you're running errands

• Live your life to the fullest

• Go to sporting events, movies, or the theatre

• Find people who have the same interests as you and hang out with them

This is what life is about. When you have meaningful connections in your life and you are living life to its fullest, good people and love have no choice but to come to you.

The Mindset Shift

Your attitude and your mindset are the only things holding you back and creating the anxiety and fear. A change in your approach is the only thing it will take to open yourself to new and exciting connections.

Take care of yourselves,

XOXO

Jenn 💕