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Writer's picturejrieswyk

How to Get Over a Break-up




f you're dealing with a recent break-up you know how devastating it can feel. It can feel like your world is ending, depending on which side of the break-up you are on and the situation surrounding the split.


If you are reading this post, I'm guessing you are the one with the heart-break and wondering when you will start to feel better? When the urge to call your ex goes away? When you will stop compulsively searching through their social media? When you'll stop torturing yourself with images of them being with someone else?


I have good news and bad news.


There is no magic way to speed up the feeling terrible after a break-up BUT the way you get to that point is taking care of you. When you start feeling better about you and all you have to look forward to, you will feel better about the break-up.


The reason break-ups feel so terrible is because there is an immense feeling of loss and hopelessness. Once this hope is restored, you will be able to move forward without the ten bricks sitting on your chest, choking your heart.


This person, this terrible, awful, heartless, cowardly, asshole (ok, maybe they're not sooo bad, but dumb enough to dump you), you thought was your person, broke your heart. You thought they were the one, your soul mate, the one you would marry and buy a house with, maybe have children with and grow old together. And now, all that vanished. How will you ever start again?


Heartbreak and this feeling of mourning happens when your reality does not match your expectations.


Read that again.


When you break-up you are not only losing the person but you are also saying goodbye to the vision of your future. This is what hurts the most.


A lot of people, after being broken up for awhile, they are able to look back and see how the relationship was lacking and come to the conclusion that the break was for the best.


People will move on and find a better fit and they wonder why the spent so much time worrying about starting over and being heart-broken over someone who didn't deserve them in the first time.


You say, but Jenn, I'm not there yet. How do I make the pain stop?


Faith.


Find the faith within you that the universe has your back. Trust in that everything is working out for you and that what is happening now is creating an opportunity for something better to come into your life. Without making some space in your life, that thing or that person who is meant for you, will never have room to come in.


I don't say this lightly. I don't say 'faith' as religious faith, get down on your knees and pray, but i mean, find that knowing place deep within you that things always work out for the best. And they do!!! Then, get to working on yourself.


Instead of burying your head under the pillow and setting up camp in your bed with your curtains drawn, get out there and do the things you love. Exercise, spend time in nature, reorganize your closet, join a class of something you always wanted to learn, call a friend, do anything that brings up your energy and vibration.


DON'T ever call the asshole. Don't check their social media but block them. Don't stalk their house. Don't get drunk and start texting them. Don't email them. Don't stare at their pictures. Don't scroll through their old text messages.


Do block them, delete their contact, take a total and complete detox of them from your life.


Keeping in contact right after a break-up will only prolong the mourning process and as someone who has done this in the past, I only want to prevent you from saddling yourself with the same self-torture.


It's ok to treat yourself like a new-born baby when you're going through a break-up. Swaddle yourself and keep reminding yourself that you will be ok. You can take the baths, watch the romantic movies and cry, take some tylenol and get lots of sleep, and eventually you will begin to feel better.

Day by day your faith will create joy and happiness again. Promise.


XO Jenn

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