Tradwife vs. Egalitarian: My Two Cents (With Love)

Growing up, my house ran on a classic two-person system:

- Dad went to work.

- Mom did everything else.

And teenage me? I was not amused.

My dad expected certain things, criticized my mom way too often, and I remember thinking, “Cool, so this is the deal? Hard pass.”

As I got older and had relationships of my own, I could look back with a little more nuance. I still don’t agree with every dynamic in their marriage, but I can see how it worked for them. And that’s the point, really.

Every relationship is different. You figure out what works. You negotiate. You compromise. You occasionally argue about who loaded the dishwasher “wrong.”

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TRADWIFE VS. EGALITARIAN (AKA: The Internet’s New Favorite Food Fight)

If you’ve been on social media for more than 12 seconds, you’ve probably seen it:

Videos of women baking bread, cleaning their already-clean kitchens, and lovingly folding tiny beige sweaters while their husbands go to work. They call themselves “tradwives.”

Honestly? I love it. Want to do it because I love baking and taking care of my family.

AND I love watching women handle business.

- At home.

- At work.

- In their passions.

HELL YEAH, ladies.

What I do wonder is whether we even have a real “traditional” mindset anymore. So much has changed, and families look so different based on values, finances, culture, personality, and plain old preference. Putting the label “traditional” on anything domestic feels… tricky.

A lot of what people mean by “traditional” is that glossy TV version:

- Perfect hair.

- Perfect roast chicken.

- Perfect apron.

- Perfectly unbothered by being treated like household staff.

Come on.

Many of the women we think of as “traditional” were working hard at a job where the job was performing perfection. And plenty were suppressed, and fought so we could have the choices we have today.

That said, I don’t think most people use “tradwife” in an offensive way.

I think it's simply a longing for a simpler time.

A time before:

- everything was a debate

- everything was fake (news, food, people)

- everyone was yelling online

If that’s what you mean by “traditional,” I get it. I am climbing into that boat with you, and I brought snacks.

So Where Do Most Couples Land?

Egalitarianism is how many families operate now.

Partners, no matter what gender or non-gender, share responsibilities and decide who does what based on what works best.

And here’s the twist:

A lot of people who call themselves “traditional” are also doing exactly that.

Because staying home, cooking, cleaning, and raising kids is not automatically “oppression.”

It's now a choice.

A shared choice.

And these days, it can also be a privilege, considering how often it takes two incomes just to keep the lights on and buy the eggs (which are now apparently luxury items).

In healthier relationships now, there’s generally more respect and admiration.

No one is assumed to be “lesser” or “less capable.”

We are educated. We can earn. We can support ourselves.

Historically, women often were not viewed as intelligent as men, and were pushed into menial work with very low wages.

Which is exactly why this debate is happening.

Because there are positives to traditional roles… but there were also a whole lot of negatives.

My Take (Respectfully, With a Side of Hope)

When people talk about wanting “traditional” living, I truly think most of the time it comes from love.

And from wanting life to feel less stressful, less angry, and less uncertain.

Wherever you land on the “tradwife vs. egalitarian” spectrum, I hope we can all move toward partnerships that feel stable, respectful, and safe.

Take care of yourselves.

XOXO

Jenn