How to Tell If He's Into You

As a woman, this question to your friends and your closest family has been posed most of your life...does he really like me? What does it mean when he doesn't call me for two weeks? Could he just be busy? Maybe he's intimidated by strong women? Maybe he's not ready to commit?

Have you ever dated someone who told you that they just weren't ready to be tied down and the next girl he ended up dating, he ended up marrying? It happens all the time. We blame ourselves and put ourselves down for not being good enough but what does it really have to do with?

It was just that he wasn't that into you and you missed it with all your excuses.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but the sooner you come to terms with the fact that not everyone you date is going to fall madly in love with you and that it might take a few broken hearts to get to the really good stuff, the better off you will be.

Now that you know the possibilities, what are the signs that he's not really into you? Could you be just wasting your time hoping he'll pick you or you will suddenly become a priority?

First major sign that he's not into you is; he's not asking you out.

If a guy is not asking you out or making an attempt to see you, he's not into you.

You may think that he's just shy or you are too intimidating to be asked out, or the situation is bad timing, or you work together so it's inconvenient....wrong.

It doesn't matter the situation, if a man is attracted to you and wants to get to know you better, I don't care if he's weighed down with a concrete slabs, his phone got lost in the ocean, or his girlfriend is in the room, he will make it known that he's interested. He will ask you out. He will break up with his girlfriend to see if it goes anywhere with you. Men know how to get what they want and they won't let much stop them in getting it.

Second sign he's not into you is; he's not calling you.

Say, you've had a few dates and things seemed to be going well. Hell, maybe you've even had sex and it was mind blowing.

A few weeks later, days have gone by and you're starting to lose your patience with waiting for him to call and check in. When you break and send him a message or give him a call, he uses some lame excuse that he's been busy, he's had a family emergency, he's been preoccupied. This is a sure sign that he's not into you.

I know! I know you really want to believe him. I know that people DO in fact, get busy and have emergencies. However, if a man is into you, he will make damn sure that you know where he is and that he's not going anywhere. He doesn't want you wondering where he is or that he might not show up. A high value women will never wait around and be ok with a flaky guy who is in and out of her life and he knows that, so he's not going to take the risk!

Third sign he's not that into you; he's not committing to you.

So, you've made it a few months and he's been attentive, loving, sincere, fun and you are looking for something to tell you that he's all in, that he doesn't want to see anyone else. You want the talk about being monogamous and it's not coming or he says he's not ready for that step just yet.

If he's not committing and he's keeping his options open after a few months of dating, he's not that into you. When a man has feelings for a woman, he will let her know. There is no chance that he will risk losing her due to see-sawing about being with her. When a mature man is completely into a woman, she will have his full attention and you will not have to wonder if he is all in or seeing other people because he will be forthcoming about what he wants. It usually does not take a few months either. They know very quickly if a woman is the right one for them.

Final sign that he's not that into you; he's not planning a future with you.

Many women struggle with this one because everyone is so different in what they want from life. Some people don't want marriage or children, some want to travel the world, start businesses, run charities in different countries, etc. I get it, everyone is different and planning a relationship is not really necessary all the time. But everyone does it anyway.

It doesn't matter what the plan for the future is, if a man wants you to be part of his future, he will include you and consult you on it.If he's into you and wants you in his life for the foreseeable future, he will let you know his dreams and aspirations and ask you to be a part of them.

If he's avoiding the topic of the future or talking about it like you are not a concern, he's not into you. It means you're not included there when he thinks about it.

I know you might be thinking that this can't be true 100 % of the time, that there has to be some exceptions to the rules. There's not.

Women make so many excuses for men when they're dating because they're tired!

I get it, I was there. I just wanted this one to be THE ONE. Because I was done. I didn't want to play anymore. BUT, I was not being a high value woman. I was being to lenient and not expecting enough, when I was being made to believe I was expecting TOO MUCH.

Ladies, when you meet the one, your expectations will never be too much. They will meet your expectations and surpass them. You will wonder why you ever put up with being handed so little of someone.

We have this belief that men are incapable of talking about their feelings and being open with us but these are the same men we allow to run our governments, our social systems and raise our children, all along side of us. We need to believe that they are at least capable of telling us how they really feel. I believe that they do, we just don't really hear them until we are ready.

Inspired By:

Behrendt, Greg. Tuccillo, Liz. "He's Just Not That Into You". 2004.