My Top Tips for Texting and Dating

Texting is the new way of communicating. It's convenient, non-invasive and the go to method of staying in touch for most people.

However, in the dating phase of a relationship it can make things, let's say, more complicated.

Whenever possible, I would always recommend speaking to someone, whether it be on the phone, by video or chat or in person. This is because it helps to be able to read social cues when wanting to communicate clearly and effectively.

When you use text as your main source of communication, you run the risk of the other person reading more into what you're saying than intended.

I have learned from experience and by speaking with others on the matter, that a text can be misconstrued depending on the topic.

So many dating situations begin in this fashion because of the popular use of dating sites.

My recommendation when meeting someone in this way, you keep the texting light, fun and strictly to gain information.

Texting can be flirty and fun as long as it is kept to a minimum. You want to use it to set boundaries, make plans, and check in with one another. It gives you the option of staying in touch without being overly needy or feel like you're disturbing them.

If you want to talk about hopes, dreams, expectations, or anything deeper than where you are from, how many siblings you have, and what your plans are for the weekend, pick up the phone.

When we text, we are missing vital pieces of physical information, such as tone of voice, facial expressions and gestures. Without this, it is difficult to gauge the exact meaning the other person is trying to convey.

A major problem with texting is, not only can a text be misconstrued in meaning, but the length of time in which a text is replied to can create strife and insecurity in a dating situation.

I have spoken to many women and men who have been new to a dating situation and have read negative things into someone not texting them back in a timely fashion. They are wondering where they went, what they are doing, if they are going to be ghosted, etc.

When you depend on texting for communication, you leave yourself open to make incorrect assumptions. It creates a false sense of connection. Meaning, when you begin dating someone, the impulse to text back and forth all day can create the illusion that you are emotionally connected and interested in one another, however, it can never replace actually spending physical time with one another. Texting all the time with someone is a way of hiding. It is a way to not put yourself out there, to keep you safe.

I know. I have done it. And the relationships ended up remaining surface level and emotionally tumultuous.

Texting does not have to be all bad if you approach it in the right way. Instead of being your whole dating plan, just make it a small part. You can make texting a way to weed out those who are not serious about dating you, it can help you be flirty and draw your boundaries.

If you want my guide to texting that I have created as a cheat sheet to dating and texting, click here.

Remember, be careful out there.

XOXO

Jenn