When Is the Right Time to Become Physical With Someone?

So, when is the right time to take a new situation-ship to the next level?

Is it on the first date? The third? A month into dating the same person exclusively?

This answer is going to be different for everyone and it's going to be different with every person you date.

Everyone seems to have different rules and different boundaries for being physical with another (and by physical here I mean intercourse).

I lived by one rule when I was still in the dating game for physically intimacy....I would only become physical when I felt confident that it was because I wanted to, not because I was trying to keep someone else interested.

My number one requirement when breaking the physical barrier was:

DON'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU.

If you think that jumping into a guys bed and acting like a porn star is going to get you a second date, you are wrong!

It will most likely close the deal immediately (of course not always!).

However, if you are feeling insecure and hoping to get a second and third date, my best advice is, be yourself.

You don't need to prove you are sexy and desirable by doing something that you are uncomfortable with or that you are going to punish yourself for later. Always take the action that comes from a place of self-respect and self-assurance.

This means, if you are feeling a guy on the first date and you feel comfortable enough to invite him over for some steamy sheet session, I say go girl! However, if you are going to be hanging by the phone for the next couple of days wondering why he's not calling and drowning your sorrows in a tub of Halo, I say skip it and curl up at home with a nice book after your date drops you off.

If you choose to break the physical barrier early, before there is an emotional connection, don't add strings.

Now, if you are a high-value woman and you want to wait for emotional connection and for someone to earn their way into your physical world, my advice is, don't hold them hostage.

Depending on your beliefs and values, you are going to approach this your own way.

A high-value woman will expect to be treated a certain way and is always open about what she is looking for from a dating situation.

For example, say you are waiting for them to prove that they are emotionally available and open to having a serious relationship. You want to keep the physical part of the relationship on hold until you really get to know each other. Make this very clear to the other person because they may not be willing to put in the time but if they are, be gentle. Don't go to their house and snuggle up under the blankets for a make-out session, get all hot and bothered and then politely excuse yourself to go home.

Teasing may feel sexy and will make it that more exciting when you finally do have sex but

this is a situation where you turn your man on and then leave.....Not. A .Good .Idea.

Men will usually find a way to release their sexual frustrations. If you ARE going to engage in this type of behaviour, make sure he loves you, like, wants to marry you and you are both saving yourselves for the wedding night, loves you.

Just to re-cap, make sure when you do become physical with someone, make sure you are doing it because YOU want to and not to make someone like you.

Don't tease. Didn't your Mom teach you it's not nice?

And don't add strings, meaning, don't make it into something more than it is. It is meant to be fun and intimate, and to bring you more emotionally and physically closer. It does not necessarily mean you are bound to each other forever. It doesn't mean you now need to contact each other every day, multiple times a day. It doesn't mean you owe each other anything.

You can add the meaning to it depending on the situation yourself because I'm not in it, you are. Deep down, you know why you are making the decision to become physically connected, or not. I just want you to be completely honest with yourself and not do something before you are completely ready.

Always be safe!

Take care of yourself.

XOXO Jenn